Putting on the belt...
Hey girls! Today's post is the story of my friend Amy. Amy is an amazing, vivacious woman who is allowing God to use her in courageous ways. Her story is amazing and it's my prayer you'll be infused with hope as you read it - like I was :)
I will disappoint you, because that's who I am.
I will let you down, because that what i do.
I will never be what you wanted me to be because I always fail.
I would be the first person to tell you how much God loves and care about you, and I would believe that to be true....for you. But God doesn't love me that way.
I never really could understand, believe, or accept His love for me. I didn't know why...I didn't think too much about it really. However, it continued to be a stumbling block for me even though I didn't know it at the time.
I knew I wanted to know God...I knew I wanted to respect Him, honor Him, and, above all else, make Him proud. But I always felt I was falling short.
One night just a few weeks ago, I was praying...and as I sat silent I felt the Lord speak directly to me - almost like he was downloading something right into my brain.
He said that I could not accept His love because I felt I was a disappointment. He told me that I feel this way because of my family. He allowed me to feel the pain of their disappointment for only a moment... thoughts of so many family members thinking of me as a loser who has done nothing with her life and has little to no accomplishments to speak of. The pain was real...very raw. He allowed me to see that disappointment that my family had, so that he could show me why I feel the way I do about His love for me. I wanted to love God the way I saw other Christians loving Him. But how could I even begin to fall in love with a God I wouldn't allow to love me back?
At this point I felt the Lord explain that all those things my family may have wanted me to achieve in life, were meaningless in his eyes. He called me to be me...(surprise surprise!) He said, "Where you are right now is where I want you to be."
Wow, nothing more...nothing less. I'm not a professional anything; I don't have any fancy cars, degrees, homes, or even stories to tell...but God says, "My love is in abundance for YOU! You are right where you need to be. Those things that make you a 'somebody' in this world, don't mean anything to me."
I cried (ok I bawled like a baby with snot and drool too!), It was an amazing thing to feel that pain removed from me...and I didn't even know it was there!
I know now that I AM loved. And with that I too can love! I'm still learning and growing, but its so nice to know I'm on the right path.
Amy
Into the light...
1. Do you ever feel like a failure based on what others think (or you perceive they think) of you?
2. How do you define success and failure?
3. Are you chasing after who God wants you to be? Or are your own standards and the standards of others drawing you away from who He has called you to be?
Wielding the Sword...
Read Isaiah 42:6 - Who is it that calls you?
Read Isaiah 55:1-9 - What do these verses say about where we can find what is TRULY valuable in life? According to verses 7-9, will we find greater purpose in our own thinking? or by following God's thinking?
Read I Samuel 16:7 - How does this verse compare with what we tend to value in our culture?
Think about what Amy said - even though some may have seen her as a failure, she was right where God wanted her - and it was HIS opinion that was important. Who is God calling you to be, Warrior Princess? Are you walking in that truth? If not, ask Him to show you who He is calling you to be.
Read Isaiah 30:21 and James 1:5
I pray you walk in the truth and in joy today, sisters. You are needed. You are enough! :)
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