It was with deep grief tonight that I stripped my beautiful, now-dead Christmas tree of her trimmings. Yes, I hear you jeering that it is mid-January, and I should be "over it by now."
I'm terminally sentimental. It's part of what makes me, me. :)
I removed all the decorations and lights, thanking her for the beauty she had bestowed upon our home over the past months. I apologized as the needles rained, still fragrant, to the carpet. And then she was bare, and I was weeping.
No, I don't worship nature.
No, I don't believe the trees have spirits - no matter how fond I am of Narnia.
"This isn't about the tree," I heard a whisper say.
I've been on a path for awhile now - a journey to heal, to overcome. They are wounds I'd grown strong enough to forgive but still fear. And I have come to see what I've felt for much of my life was strength is really just a stronghold - and not my own at that.
So in recent days God has made two things very clear: 1. Some battles are won only in prayer and fasting and 2. There is no resurrection without death (John 12:24-25).
The battle of "dying to ourselves" is one we often feel we've fought. (Ya win some; ya lose some.) But I'm realizing with gravity it is one I am not fighting often enough - at least not as often as the Spirit would desire, which is moment by moment.
And so through tears, on my knees, tenderly brushing the brittle spindles of a dead pine tree I realized, "I am pre-grieving the 'death' of me." - again, and yet I feel, more profoundly this time.
To be honest, I'm a little fearful at what He's calling me to. A) Because I can't SEE that far (thanks!) and B) Because any kind of death is painful in some form. There is no such thing as spiritual morphine.
But I am also hopeful - because I would rather walk in resurrection than simply in a life I understand and think is under control. It's a beautiful call - to be like Him - even if our cross is only spiritual. Of course, the cross must be faced in spirit before we could ever carry it physically.
What about you? Are you living in the death of a life you've found or are you losing your life so that you can be found in Him?
Is there something Christ is calling you to die to? Let me know. We can pray for each other.
Some months ago my friend, Abby shared this song with me. She said, "It will make you cry." Oh, so many times, Abby, so many times. :) It has become part of my prayer. I pray it draws you toward the pursuit of new life.
Show Me (Audrey Assad) (I like to see the lyrics; hope it's not a distraction :)
Much love,
Tammi
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Friday, August 27, 2010
Prepared in Advance
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared us in advance to do."
Did you know your life has a calling? If you don't yet know Jesus Christ as your forgiver and your Savior, he is calling you to accept him. If you DO know Jesus, he is calling you further. We are all called to obey, to seek, to love (more than we probably realize), to pray, to use our gifts to show others God's grace (1 Peter 4:10)...
But more than that, YOU are called. I can't tell you what God has called you to. I imagine you already know in your heart, or you sense the rising of something more, that he wants you to do.
What is holding you back? Dusty did a sermon series this year during which he and his teaching team attacked all the "excuses" we have for not living out God's plan for our lives.
Too often, I believe we as women do not think we have what we need to minister, to step into God's call on our lives. Well, re-read Ephesians 2:10!
You do not have to have some fancy degree, a certain set of skills, or a certain color of hair or nails. You don't even have to be married to a pastor!... (If you know me, you can see my smirk.) If you are in Christ, you are God's workmanship. That word in the greek denotes "the result of the work." He has already done it! And it will continue in you as you ask him what is next and let him take you where he created you to go!
And I love the last phrase which God prepared in advance for us to do. That word advance means "to make ready before." It is only used twice in the new testament and always refers to God preplanning something for good.
So, understand this: God CREATED IN ADVANCE for everything he called you to do. All we have to do is tap into him and he will show us which steps to take, which degrees to get or not get, which way to walk (Isaiah 30:21)!
Battle Strategies:
1. Pray and ask God to reveal (perhaps again) what he has called you to. Ask him to confirm that through scripture and godly people in your life.
2. Commit to God that you will choose to walk in his call for your life. (Matthew 22:14)
3. Ask godly sisters to keep you accountable to the call and believe that he will complete the work in you. (Philippians 1:6)
The battle is now; you are needed! Do not strive! Abide!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
R U A ZOM-B?
ZOMBIES!!! UGH!!!! I hate the ridiculous invention of those fictitious creatures. I will never see a movie, play a game, read a book that involves them. Gross, nasty, vile!
But lately, I have been doing a study on healing, and (could God use a zombie?) I had this thought. So many of us are "walking wounded." We have been hurt, broken, scarred by something in our lives. And if we try to heal it ourselves, not only does it tend to become a nasty, infected mess, if it is a deep enough wound, it can transform us into a "monster" of sorts.
Oh, normally we are sweet and lovely and a joy to know, but if somebody bumps that owwie, we morph into raging, drooling, limping, smelly, oozing shadows of the creatures God created us to be. Ick! And not only are we a sore sight, we can also fumble around, intentionally or unintentionally inflicting our pain on others. I know it happens to me sometimes. And, like I said, I HATE zombies - so, obviously I do not want to BE one!
HOWEVER, when we take those hurts to Jesus, sometimes over and over for a very long time, He can and will heal the wounds. He will clean out the infection we have caused and, if we will trust Him, He can even turn our reactions into ones of vulnerability, gentleness and joy.
So, I guess the question to ask yourself is the same as Jesus asked the man at the pool of Bethesda... Do you want to be healed? (And the subsequent question I have to ask - Or do you want to be a zombie?)
Begin to pray today that God will show you any wounds you have tried to fix yourself. Then ask Him to walk you down the path of TRUE healing that is only found in Him. If we continue to pursue HIS healing, I know we will love what we transform into.
Loving and believing in you. Tam
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Is Double Posting like Double Dipping????
So, I'm trying to be a good steward of my time. Here's my latest post.
Love to you, Put on the armor, Keep up the fight.
"A mistake becomes an error when you refuse to correct it." - poster on the wall in my high school geography class.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Love in our words...
Yesterday I was driving on 84, passing through construction for a new overpass and access. The work has been going on for awhile now, and I began to ponder that... how long it takes to build a bridge.
The engineering and construction have to be solid, or hundreds of lives may be lost. And yet, like most things, the time required to demolish the same bridge is a fraction of the time taken to construct it.
Then my mind jumped to relationships - and this thing called love. It's the same, isn't it? It can take years and scads of experiences to build bridges of trust in our relationships. Yet, often a word can decimate all that has been achieved.
Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (emphasis mine)
Most of us can work on this one, can't we? I know very few people who only speak words that are positive, helpful and encouraging. One of them is my husband. I learned very quickly, even I did not have a platform for negative speech - and it has made me a better person :).
What would our relationships be like if we followed this? If we simply honored one another in our speech? I remember one relationship in Jr. High I had to work very hard to rebuild, a boy who was a dear friend, simply because I was careless with my words. Hmm.
It's something to ponder, isn't it? Not that it's wrong to speak our minds... but how much more potent can we be when we speak our hearts? That's where love resides, right? Hmm...
More Verses on the Power of Words
James 3:9-12 (read this whole chapter - so good)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Pleasing God or Men?
Well, I'm going through Galatians right now... so I thought, rather than wax eloquent about my opinions on things ;) We could talk about God's opinion. It's the important one, right?
Galatians 1
1Paul, an apostle—sent not from men nor by man, but by Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised him from the dead— 2and all the brothers with me,
To the churches in Galatia:
3Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, 4who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, 5to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
I love how Paul states who he is. He doesn't claim authority in himself or from any religious person or sect. His authority is grounded in Christ and God. Then, I love how he goes on to further establish who CHRIST is, not who HE is, and how he continues to point through Christ back to God - an important detail as most of the book will be a pleading with the Galatians to remember their salvation comes through Christ and not the law.
No Other Gospel
6I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! 9As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
You either love Paul or you wanna smack him. He doesn't mince words. But that can be refreshingly uncomfortable. When we remember that gospel means "good news," his words are almost funny. "...turning to a different good news - which is really not good news at all." Later he'll get into the specifics of law versus grace, and really lay out which one brings hope and which leads to death.
Read verse 8 - "Even if we or an angel from heaven... let him be eternally condemned!" And he repeats it. Repetition in scripture - and this era of writing - was indicative of strong conviction and emotion. If he had been speaking to them, he'd have been pounding the pulpit and red-faced. :)
The section ends with him revisiting the Source of his purpose. It's not about him, or any religious group... it is about pleasing Christ.
The question I walk away with is this... Am I trying to win the approval of men? Or of God?
Asking questions requires thought - it calls our hearts, minds and sometimes bodies to action. Even in asking this question, Paul illustrates the difference between the law and faith in Christ. The law judged actions, but it could not purify the heart.
Jeremiah is prophesying about the covenant that will come through Christ - and referring to the law had already been given. He talks about writing his law on the people's hearts. That is what Christ came to do - to put God's heart in our heart. And that is what the question asks... is my heart for God? or for man? I'm thankful God wants to engage our hearts, aren't you? Keep fighting the battle. Pray without ceasing. You are called. You are needed. Love, Tam P.S. Trusting Jesus doesn't mean the law is extinct. To study what Jesus said about the law and how He came to fulfill it, check out these places in the Bible. Matthew 12:1-14 Matthew 5Jeremiah 31:32-33
It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them," declares the Lord. "This covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time," declares the Lord. "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people."
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